Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Just finished Shirt of Flame

May I say I love almost anything with a T. S. Eliot quote? I also love Heather King's writing, which is insightful, clear, and calls powerfully for personal change instead of outward criticism. I think I said something  pompous about providing opportunities for Geoff's personal growth by being irritating and disorganized, citing St. Therese ignoring a fellow nun's really irritating habit (clicking her teeth with her Rosary). I think he didn't throw anything at me, which definitely shows spiritual growth.

Anyway, I found St. Therese kind of wordy and annoying a syrupy before, and now I'm realising that in spite of her flowery and overdone writing she was probably one of the greatest saints ever, and I'm thinking about her Little Way. Everyone wants heroic virtue, but no one wants to refrain from glaring at the person making that teeth-grittingly irritating noise through their nose.

I remember something Erika said a long time ago, about how much easier it is to be good, sometimes, when you're going through some kind of medical crisis- it throws everything into perspective, and makes me feel that everything is full of significance. I lose it when the crisis is over. I wonder what it would be like to always know that every act could be full of love? As Heather King and St. Therese both say, Love, real love, isn't songbirds and roses and happy emotion. Love means suffering for the beloved.

So tomorrow, can I not shout at the kids and remember that suffering is an offering?

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