I could totally say that I don't know how, but I think Amy would accuse me of cheating. Again. Anyway, here's a few ways that I have personally discovered:
1. I try to have us go somewhere or have someone over once a day. This has been complicated by the girls' morning naps, but I look forward, sort of, to them not needing to sleep in the morning. Right now if I'm leaving in the morning I have to be going to someone's house (hi, Judith!) where they can nap, or get a sitter. They could theoretically nap in the stroller, but the boys like to hang over them shouting, "Wake up, Baby! Wake up!" which send me into uncontrollable rages.
2. I have a huge number of children's movies and shows. The only way I have found to guarantee a few minutes of quiet from my hyperactive and destructive boys is to drug them with movies. Reading is good, but I can't read aloud and fold laundry or unload the dishwasher or cook at the same time.
3. I accept all offers of help. We are a a point of near-total collapse around here. I also whine endlessly for help.
4. We live really near my parents. I am not sure they enjoy this.
5. I have wine.
6. I try to read some every day, something not on the internet. Right now I'm re-reading Bridehead Revisited, and it's almost time to re-read The Dark is Rising.
7. Geoff and I were talking about stress management yesterday, and he said that there are two options- raise your stress threshold or reduce the things causing you stress, or both. I asked about how you raise your stress threshold, and he said, "Yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, formal repetitive prayer". So I'm going to try to pray at least a decade of the Rosary a day.
8. I have two close friends who are in nearly the same situation as me, and we de-stress at each other several times a week, over the phone or in person, and while wrangling our respective children. This is a lifesaver.
9. I mentioned wine, right?