I shared this link on Facebook. It's a good meditation on what success in motherhood (during the daily grind in the vomit-and-other-bodily-fluids trenches) really is. I feel right now like I can either have fun and provide neat activities for my kids and be present with them, or I can get Things Accomplished, mostly housework. I do not love housework, but I hate it even more when it accumulates until it induces despair.
Last week, I think, I did well on the Fun Things area. We read, we made it to a couple of parks, the kids played in the yard and in the enormous mess of moon dough, we did lego and colouring. The house suffered. The tension is always with me because I am nearly always at home, and nearly always feeling the pressure of undone tasks. I'm either feeling guilty about pinning the kids with videos while I clean, feeling guilty about playing when I should be cleaning, or feeling guilty about not doing either.
I need to think about my expectations for myself, and about my goals. If a good night here is still defined as me being up a minimum of six times, if tasks are continually interrupted, if I'm dealing with many small children and their needs and wants and moods, what is most important? Where am I in all of this? Where is God?