Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Sleep deprived

Must make tea and get ready to haul everyone out of bed at the crack of eight. I 'slept' with Miriam from 12-7:30, so I am very bleary. She was at first having a nightmare and then, after I returned very briefly to my bed, she was coughing herself awake. When I returned she was in full Happy Play Mode and I told her sternly to go back to sleep, lay down beside her, and tried to ignore the rolling around and arm waving. She fell asleep after a couple of hours. Death and ruin, miserable child. That's what your mother feels like today.

In spite of tiredness I need to go visit Mum today and make sure they're giving her pureed foods, ask about the test for the UTI, and see if they're delivering the wheelchair today. And then go over and talk to Dad about the repercussions of what is happening, which look to me right now like she is going to die within not very long unless we get a stomach tube put in.

WILL love thee, O Lord, my strength; the Lord is my stony rock, and my defence : my Saviour, my God, and my might, in whom I will trust, my buckler, the horn also of my salvation, and my refuge.
2 I will call upon the Lord, which is worthy to be praised : so shall I be safe from mine enemies.
3 The sorrows of death compassed me : and the overflowings of ungodliness made me afraid.
4 The pains of hell came about me : the snares of death overtook me.
5 In my trouble I will call upon the Lord : and complain unto my God.

I'm good at complaining.

And at re-reading books, and sitting around chewing my nails while I stare at the piles of housework while the children all tumble around me shouting for things like more juice and another movie and sometimes another book read aloud. And I lament and shovel goldfish crackers and pretzels out to fill their gaping little mouths.

Must get up from computer and go make tea and shout briskly up the stairs.


Anonymous said...

Big strong hugs for you, my imaginary friend, Kyra. -Rebo

Melanie Bettinelli said...

One of my favorite psalms. It got me through the terrible waiting when they postponed Ben's c-section because some other mother had an emergency one.

I was thinking of you with this morning's prayer and prayed this one especially for you:

"My dwelling like a shepherd's tent
is struck down and borne away from me;
you have folded up my life like a weaver
who severs the last thread.

Day and night you give me over to torment;
I cry out until the dawn,
Like a lion he breaks all my bones;
day and night you give me over to torment.

Like a swallow I utter shrill cries;
I moan like a dove.
My eyes grow weak gazing heaven-ward;
O Lord, I am in straits; be my surety!"

Hugs. My prayers are with you. I must go listen to small children reading.