Lissla Lissar's blog

2012-01-31T16:36:00.000-08:00

I'm home briefly to pick up some stuff, but I've been admitted to hospital for bedrest until Monday or Tuesday, when the girls will be born. Geoff has started his leave and is enjoying (trying not to strangle) the children, and I'm contemplating ten days of hospital food and not being allowed to get out of bed to pick up pizza. It is making me doleful. Besides hating to be severed from home. I'm trying to think of things to take tonight so I don't starve until someone can bring me food tomorrow. Seriously, dinner was a steakette and instant potatoes.

I am a prima donna about food.

I'm also not allowed to get up off this couch, so I'm posting from Geoff's netbook.

Suggestions for how not to go crazy on bedrest in hospital?

2012-01-30T16:58:00.000-08:00

Look, I'm not doing anything, right? I'm sitting at a computer. It's restful.

For anyone else who suffered through the Clan of the Cave Bear books, someone on the Straight Dope has contributed this brilliantly-written beginning to the seventh book:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14719019&postcount=17

I particularly like the cavemen's names.Especially Gimnasium.

2012-01-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

Miriam (the littler one) isn't doing great, so we're looking at delivery this week, and possibly tomorrow.

PRAYERS APPRECIATED!

Full bedrest (minus bedpans). They wouldn't let me come home until I promised not to do any housework or child-wrangling.

2012-01-29T04:53:00.000-08:00

Bad headache all yesterday and still hanging around today, but I got my blood pressure checked at the grocery store and it was okay. If I've still a bad/worse one later I may head back to triage, sigh, just in case.

Marjorie arrives tomorrow, although I don't know what time, and I'm trying to get some meal planning and prep done. Geoff has my horrible cold and was up coughing most of the night, so between that and near-bedrest we're not going anywhere, but can maybe get some chores done very slowly.

We wer eboth nearly non-functional yesterday- Geoff sick, me exhausted and with headache and B.P worries. Cynthia came over at noon and stayed till ten, and cleaned everything, organized everything, and moved anything she hand't cleaned or organized. It's much tidier here today than it would have been without her. Also, there's a death threat taped to the kitchen cabinet. It comes into effect if we don't eat the leftovers today.

2012-01-28T08:39:00.001-08:00

Sam the Eagle: "I always have the greatest respect for other people's crackpot beliefs."

2012-01-28T04:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, the last post was because I needed to find someone a picture of my veil and headpiece. Anyway, dear Lord we look young. And my expression is weird.

2012-01-28T03:58:00.001-08:00

2012-01-27T14:27:00.000-08:00

Spent from nine till one at the hospital today, getting two unsuccessful non-stress tests, and unexpected ultrasound, and some blood pressure checks. My parents took the kids for the whole day, which was wonderful, because when I got out I just wanted to sleep.

I have the whole rigmarole again on Monday.

My blood pressure is better, which probably means no-housework-two-naps is helping. If the non-stress test on Monday fails to work I'm going to point it out to my o.b. and ask if we can maybe only try once per visit, or skip them if I'm having twice-weekly ultrasounds, or something. It's coming off as a huge waste of time, especially since I've got great fetal movement (they never stop moving. This bodes ill).

The doctors in triage encouraged me to keep resting, but were quite concerned that there might be blood flow problems to the baby lower down, because she's a pound smaller and the ultrasound looks like the cord's supply isn't as good. So we're monitoring. They're currently five pounds three ounces (that would be Elizabeth), and four pounds four ounces (Miriam). It's very, very good that they're near or over the necessary going-home weight- as long as their lung development is good maybe they can come back as soon as I'm released from hospital. God willing.

I was reading Designing Your Classical Curriculum today, and it emphasized the importance of filling your children's heads with beautiful and inspiring stories. Our kids are right now watching Toy Story Two for the second time today, and heaven knows what they were watching with Mum and Dad. We'll work on the beautiful things later- maybe read Robert Loius Stevenson at bedtime?

2012-01-27T03:20:00.000-08:00

Bless the midwives, bless them, bless them. I had a long conversation with the midwife who was my secondary for Nat's birth, and if all the babies need is weighing during their 48-hours-out-of-hospital check-up, then they're happy to come over and do it. If one or both of them requires more care we'll of course go to the pediatrician, but we don't have to make the idiotic trek to the family doctor's when none of us should be travelling.

Yay!

2012-01-25T17:10:00.000-08:00

Huh. Thanks, bearing. This study about the effects of high fructose corn syrup is very interesting. Rats fed HFCS instead of an equal caloric value of sucrose develop obesity, diabetes, artery disease, and some other nasties. I've been ignoring the hysteria over HFCS, but it looks like it does actually have serious health effects.

Interesting.

2012-01-25T11:52:00.000-08:00

Another blood pressure spike yesterday, more hospital time and bloodwork, and it came down after a few hours spent lying around.

Home to take is easy. Easier. To lie around and take a lot of naps.

Cutest munchkin

2012-01-24T09:50:00.000-08:00

This is why I don't kill him when he gets up at five in the morning.

In other news, Geoff's stepmom is here and is angelically entertaining the kids, cleaning everything, doing lots of cooking, and giving me time to nap and go to doctor's appointments. It's wonderful, especially because Nat had high blood sugar overnight, and therefore had nightmares and wet his bed.

In other other news, I hate squirrels. We spent last week watching dolefully as they used our compost/green bins as an all-day buffet. Geoff was going to build a hutch, and we didn't want to replace them until he did. We decided he didn't have time and we'd just replace them. They have already chewed through the new ones. We're going to have to build the blasted hutch. Stuart, what are your plans for the next while, and could you possibly help Geoff?

Dammit. Horrible squirrels. The bins cost $25 each.

2012-01-23T05:57:00.000-08:00

We're still here. I'm getting over the crummy cold- the weekend was a near-total blur of sickness and exhaustion. My step-MiL is coming this morning, and staying till Wednesday. She's tough- I'm sure she'll survive immersion in our chaos.

I am becoming familiar with every detail of every kids' dvd we own, due to Thomas's early waking. Has anyone else read the Le Gin story, Paradises Lost? I always think of it when we're watching Wall-E (which we did this morning. It's a novella about a generation ship, about what might happen to the middle generations and the generation that makes landfall. None of them can handle uncontrolled wind, bright light- they've never experienced fire or walking on any surface harder than carpet. They've never been anywhere without walls.

I watch Wall-E (which is a very good movie) and think about how fast the spaceship inhabitants would die, about their psychological maladaption to survival outside the ship. This probably proves that I shouldn't watch kids' science fiction.

We also got Dumbo recently, and due to pregnancy hormones I cried when Dumbo got separated from his mother. Geoff says it isn't hormones- he would have cried, and he'd not pregnant. He says it's all part of becoming a parents, and being inducted into the Hallmark Suck Club. It destroys natural cynicism.

My kids are playing with playdough behind me. I probably don't want to turn around and look at the mess.

Oh, yes- because I was completely wrecked yesterday, I did the natural, logical thing- I baked seven loaves of bread. Five of challah, and two of chocolate chocolate ship dried cherry, which is nice and not too sweet. Geoff has asked me to please learn to use a kitchen in a way that doesn't leave a huge mess. When I have time and mental capacity, say, in four years.

2012-01-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

My blood pressure is down, which either means it was a crazy spike, or (more probably, in my opinion) means that going to bed at nine and not walking and lying around a lot helps. I'm of course tending to the second option, which means I get way more rest and don't feel as guilty for being exhausted and sick (I have a crummy cold, which triggers my throw-up reflex).

Checking again on Tuesday at the O.Bs

During the non-stress test the babies threw a dance party. The nurse was impressed with their activity level, and less impressed about the way they kept getting away from the wealth of monitors strapped to me.

2012-01-20T03:47:00.000-08:00

Today I'm off to the hospital for blood pressure monitoring and a non-stress test for the babies. My parents are taking the kids for the day. I was thinking of very slowly running some errands, but I have a miserable cold, so I may just ooze slowly back home and fall into bed. Especially since Thomas woke at 5:30.

Since I'm childless for part of the day I'd like to organize the fridge and freezer, and make some extra burritos with the refried beans I did yesterday. That sounds ambitious enough, don't you think?

2012-01-19T05:12:00.000-08:00

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

I'm much less coordinated even than usual- I drop about fifty to seventy percent of the objects I try to pick up these days- and I just tried to move the brand-new cake carrier that Cynthia got me for Christmas. Lack of coordination+ stone floor in the kitchen.

Dammit. I only got to use it once. I'm sorry, Cynth.

Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the stone floor in the kitchen? Now that it's winter, it funnels cold in from outside, and anything even remotely breakable that gets dropped shatters into millions of pieces. I would never, ever put a stone floor in a kitchen, if I had a choice.

2012-01-18T04:40:00.000-08:00

Dealing with Thomas's toddler issues seems about a thousand times easier than dealing with Nat's. Practice, I think, plus that aside from early waking Thomas is an easier, more laid-back kid. Nat's natural tendency is to do the opposite of whatever he's told to do. If he decides to comply, you can still see him considering his options. On bad days I bark at him a lot. On good days I tell him, "Well, I'm sorry you don't want to come out for a walk with us. Thomas and I are ready to go. Bye!"

That results in him madly running for his coat and boots.

Today we're going to a low-stress, low energy trip to Costco. Sigh. We're almost out of test strips, and I think I should stock up on peanut butter sandwich-making supplies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up.

2012-01-17T18:04:00.001-08:00

Blood pressure spike.

Must take it easy for the next three weeks, or until the babies are born.

Anyone want to borrow some small children?

2012-01-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

Tired and sick. Thomas, getting up before five is even less cute than getting up just after five.

I would post more, but both my children are howling at me, for reasons unknown and probably unknowable. Just think has much more fun it will be when there's four of them! (<-tired and sarcastic)

2012-01-16T05:55:00.000-08:00

Trying, in a sleep-deprived and half-brained sort of way, to plan some food for when I have my three day stay in the hospital. I expect to rely heavily on the pizza place in the downstairs hall, but I should also try to pack some things to bring. I will not be eating the food there. I've had a recent experience with the hospital food, and I am not wanting to repeat it, especially if I'm nursing two babies after my milk comes in.

So, I am baking muffins and I should bake and freeze muffins. Unfortunately I don't really like granola bars much. I could pack some power shakes, too, but they'd be a stopgap.

Probably I'll mostly ask people to ferry things from home or fast food places.

This is of course planning in the hope that both of them will want to nurse, and both will be full-term-ish and okay, and able to come home after the seventy-two hours. God willing. Seeing the ultrasound people and the O.B. tomorrow.

2012-01-15T03:49:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, Nat!

2012-01-13T17:42:00.000-08:00

First, I iced a cake to look like Mike from Monsters, Inc. It's not great. I liked last year's octopus theme better. Second, I made a batch of marshmallow fondant and have sadly concluded that it is too sticky for the kids, so I made marshmallow snowmen for party favours.

Obsessive compulsive? Me?

Third, at least one baby is trying really hard to bore a hole out through my belly button, and it bloody hurts. I am going to simmer with resentment about this, and then take it out on the baby after she's born. Not really.

Fourth, I am exhausted, and struggling between going to bed really early and staying up to talk to my husband. Hard decision. I could also read the latest Wheel of Time, which, now that the other guy has taken over wiritng it, doesn't suck. That's practically a miracle.

2012-01-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

Baking a cake. I hope it turns out. Fries and something for dinner. Tired.

I should get Thomas up pretty soon so he doesn't wake up at five-thirty tomorrow. Today he slept till almost seven, hooray!

Tomorrow I have to make broccoli soup and thaw the cheese bread, and tonight I should make a batch of marshmallow fondant and see if it can be used as playdough. I won't tell them it's edible until they've made a couple of things out of it.

Tonight's a dojo night, so I'll be wrangling the small children into bed on my own. Should be okay. The extra half an hour in the evening seems to vastly expand my still-active-enough-to-be-useful time.

I love Testosterhome

2012-01-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

It all goes back to that essential life lesson with boys that is: boys do better when they have stuff to do. This should generally not include watching large quantities of television or playing large quantities of video games. Stuff for boys should include being outdoors and doing the two things they love best: building things and destroying things.

This is completely true, and days when I forget it are days that are very bad.

2012-01-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

I am not good at planning little kid's parties. Adults are easy- you feed them and make sure there's enough alcohol that everyone starts to argue. Good times.

Nat's having three friends his own age and one two-year-old (who will play with Thomas), plus parents, and I am trying to think of fun things for them to do that won't completely wreck the house or require emotional equilibrium or a lot of fine motor skills. So far I've gotten to Balloons Everywhere (give them a lot of balloons to chase) and maybe Pin the Tail on the Fill-in-the-Blank. Maybe make and decorate party crowns? That plus presents and lunch and cake should take up two hours, don't you think?

2012-01-11T08:34:00.001-08:00

Nat just came over to ask me to chew on his hat.

I don't get it, either.

2012-01-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

Argh, I can't log in through blogger because they want to do a 'new and improved' template thingy which doesn't recognise any of my usernames or passwords. Onward, technology!

Geoff would like me to work up some basic schedules and meal lists, and I should also figure out who's coming when, and whether we want overlap or not. I think the basic schedule for the boys is:

Thomas wakes up. Keep him quiet for a couple of hours with milk and videos
Nat wakes up. Breakfast and blood monitoring and shots.
Short playtime. Unload dishwasher and put in laundry.
Get everyone dressed.
Eat snack or get snack ready to eat out.
Force everyone into outside clothes.
Leave for an hour or two.
Come home and make lunch.
Playtime.
Naptime and video/quiet time. Chores for adults.
Snack.
Playtime, possible grocery store run.
Make dinner.
Short playtime.
Livingroom floor cleanup.
Bedtime.
Time for parents to do chores and drink heavily.

2012-01-10T04:20:00.000-08:00

On the bright side, Thomas didn't get up until almost six. On the sort-of down side, Nat got up at six-thirty. We'll wait and see if he keeps waking early, and if he does I'll switch bedtime back to eight.

Isabelle, do you know if you can get panna in Toronto? Stuart made pasta with panna and sausage and peas last night, and I need to know where to get panna, now. It was yummy.

2012-01-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

Thomas learned to say "Yes", and "Please" today, while I was out at Hamish and Christine's party with Nat. He won't do them on command, though- he'd got a bad case of I-am-not-a-performing-monkey.

Nat's been really, extremely hungry for the past few days, making up for the stomach virus, and we've been struggling to keep him under, oh, the high 20's-low 30's because he's starving and eating all the time, but we succeeded, and his dinner number was 8, and bedtime 15, which isn't terrible. I'm glad- when he's persistently low or high it's a bit of a crisis situation.

I don't know if it's related to the blood sugars, but he'd also having meltdowns about his inability to build things he wants out of the components available. He's developed this amazing faith in the powers of scotch tape, and if we tell him that something he wants to construct won't work, he dissolves in tears, has tantrums, and pouts. If we let him try and it doesn't work, he dissolves in tears etc. Yesterday he wanted to build a Monsters, Inc. toy out of a tennis ball and some tape. Today it was taping lego arms to his siege tower to make a Wall-E (it has a drawbridge that he's been using as it's trash-compactor). I'm glad he wants to build and experiment, but the tantrums are no fun.

Also, happy Epiphany, everyone!

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we lead all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I have seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Dinner

2012-01-08T15:18:00.001-08:00

2012-01-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

I have a miserable cold. Okay, it's not that bad, I just feel more self-pitying than usual because I have a cold, a toddler who was at absurd hours, and am twenty months pregnant.

We took down the tree last night, (hey, tomorrow's Epiphany!) and moved a bookshelf downstairs, so we're in the midst of Bags Full of Books chaos. I'm trying to sort and discard, which is usually code for, "sit down and read something I haven't picked up in five years".

Anyway, my brain is broken. I keep trying to think about something more complex than what to make for dinner, but I feel all floaty, ill, and third-trimester, which generally means brain-dead. I think I mentally turn back on about a year after a baby is born, when the sleep deprivation is getting better. In the meantime, goodbye, serious thought processes!

2012-01-06T13:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, dinner tonight- meatball subs with roasted broccoli. Lunch tomorrow- naan pizza. Dinner tomorrow, either spaghetti or beef stew, depending on mood. I went a little nuts with the vegetable shopping, so we have bok choy, cabbage, peppers, carrots, broccoli, bean sprouts, sweet potatoes, and cucumber. We have all of them because they were under a dollar a pound, which is about half the price at my local grocery store.

Besides, I've had this uneasy conviction that maybe my kids should be eating flour-based food four out of five times a day.

I still have to get some more graham crackers. Chinese grocery stores are a little short on graham crackers.

2012-01-06T03:45:00.000-08:00

When I was at the OB's office, I read my first crummy women's magazine in years. It was deeply depressing- how long should I wait to have a baby? Will IV work for me, even though I'm forty-seven? Should I enliven my marriage by having an affair, since my husband isn't perfect? How do I snag a guy?- plus all the normal stuff about how to dress perfectly and maintain a near-anorexic weight.

I'm grateful not to have to worry about whether I'll look good in a bikini this summer. The answer is clearly, No. I will be losing the weight from the twins, and my big hope is to fit into some normal clothes by then, not to look adorable in a bikini. I doubt I'm ever going to look like I'm twenty and have no kids, and you know, I don't really want to. I'm in pretty good shape, even now, at thirty weeks pregnant with two, and I get lots of exercise chasing the children, and worrying about whether I look good enough to find a man to have an adulterous relationship with sounds like it adds the horribility of adultery to the stress of vanity. No, thanks.

2012-01-05T05:34:00.000-08:00

Here, up early but not traumatically early, playdate with Madeleine in an hour, and Colleen and Jeff are coming for dinner.

Nat's been increasingly nasty and shouty about requests, and a lot heavier on the complaining, recently, and I think we're going to institute a general, "You can do it or go sit on the stairs", rule, for most talking back. He can be nice, pleasant, and respectful, but his kneejerk reaction is shouting and whining right now.

So, either we crack down, or sell him for parts. I'm not sure he'd fetch a whole lot. How much are preschoolers going for, these days?

2012-01-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

We watched the new Sherlock episode last night (A Scandal in Belgravia? I think?) and it was excellent. I love the Martin Freeman/Benedict Cumberbatch series. It's so much fun.

Unfortunately I couldn't get to sleep, and had Sherlock-related dreams when I did sleep, and Nat had nightmares, and anyway, I'm tired. At least it's warmer than -20 today, so we can go somewhere for a while.

The ultrasound and OB say the babies are doing fine, but one is bigger, and if the discrepancy increases we're going to try to wait for 34 weeks, admit me to hospital and give the kids steroids to hasten lung development, and then deliver early. Okay. Earlier delivery sounds fine to me (no longer fitting into a lot of my maternity clothes).

I should be unloading the dishwasher

2012-01-03T07:55:00.000-08:00

But we found the cable for the new camera, and since we've been short of pictures around here, I present The First Snow Day and Nat and the awesome butterfly he made out of tiles yesterday.

The kids are gone until 4:30, bliss, so I should blitzkrieg a lot of chores in a few minutes before trotting off to ultrasound #15, or something. Realistic meal planning, maybe set some bread up to rise. We're low on bread, which is unusual. Both freezers are stuffed with stuff (sorry, Discworld reference) which I could presumably make into nutritious meals for my family, and I should investigate their contents. Actually, I know that one of them is full of frozen prepared meals, into which I Will Not Dip, because they're for the post-babies chaos, but the other one could do with some checking out and then brainstorming.

I'm trying to compensate for the kids' sudden-ish distaste for vegetables by sticking them in things like lasagna and making lots of smoothies. I'm hoping that neither of them die of scurvy.

Thomas has started waking at 5, which makes me regret my previous laments about having to get upa at six. This morning I bullied him back to sleep by telling him sternly that it was still night, and then sleeping near him, with Nat, which means I sleep in a variety of weird positions. I think I would be less annoyed about early waking if I thought he was getting enough sleep, but when he wakes early he is a horrible little person for most of the day, so I'm willing to try anything short of brandy or opium to get him to sleep till six or seven.

Right. Chores.

2012-01-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

I spent last night waking up, boiling, wondering if Geoff would be upset if I opened the window. Got downstairs this morning to find the door had blown open in the night, so the furnace was trying to compensate for the -20c outside. Okay, it wasn't hormones. That's good.

We just spent a very nice morning playing and doing chores, and Nat's off at Mum's so I can sleep and do more chores. I'll commence the sleeping at the end of this sentence.

2012-01-02T04:32:00.001-08:00

Ha a long argument with Thomas just before five this morning about whether it was morning, or whether he should stay in his crib.

Lost.

Pass the tea.

2011-12-31T10:22:00.000-08:00

My head is not working at all. I feel ridiculously at about stage three exhaustion. I got nine hours' sleep and a nap this morning, and all I've had to do in the past few days is wrangle the (increasingly screamy) Thomas around, so I'm not sure if it's pregnancy, the strain of waiting to find out when Nat will come home, life disruption, or mild depression, but no matter what I feel inclined to sit and stare into space instead of doing anything useful.

It's New Year's, and for the next year I'm hoping for no Nat-related hospital emergencies, healthy babies, and as much sleep as possible for everyone. There ought to be a patron saint of children sleeping. I should email the Vatican. Or I could pick a saint and start asking for intercession, and then email the Pope if that saint helps out. Any nominations?

We normally go out for bad Chinese buffet on New Year's Day with my parents, but since we don't even know if Nat is coming home today that will probably be out. That's sad.

ETA: Thank You, God. Nat's coming home in a couple of hours. Time to stock up on applesauce and peanut butter sandwiches and make some smoothies.

2011-12-30T14:47:00.000-08:00

Nat is not better, very lethargic, and not eating. Not coming home tonight.

Geoff and Nat need more clothes and supplies, and there's flu and Norwalk sweeping the hospital, so I can't go. My parents are there right now, but they didn't pick up the bag I packed before they left. Thomas has spent two of the last three hours screaming, apparently from hunger, although he refuses to eat anything I give him, and my spirits are not really high.

2011-12-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

Nat's doing better and starting to order the nurses around. I hope, for Thomas's sake, he can come home tomorrow, because Thomas misses him so much that it's very sad, and Thomas being very sad means he shrieks a lot and sleeps very badly, and that drives me to drink. Well, it drives me to a single glass of wine.

Anyway, off to bed in case Thomas throws fits in the night from being lonely. It really is sad- he's lost without Nat. Nat's his whole world. Mommy runs a distant second, except when snuggling is required. Nat's better at punching than snuggling.

2011-12-29T06:08:00.001-08:00

I'm still home, Nathaniel's still in hospital and still throwing up.

2011-12-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

Aaaand Nathaniel just threw up everywhere and he and Geoff are on their way to Sick Kids Emergency and I'm here running lots and lots of laundry with Thomas asleep upstairs.

Poor little guy.

2011-12-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

Does everyone else agonise this much about choice of dinner locations for anniversaries? I think I don't want formal and fussy, so I'm leaning towards either Melanie's Bistro near here, or Allen's, which has pretty good food and decent atmosphere.

2011-12-28T04:48:00.000-08:00

Finished Snuff, the book I bought Geoff for Christmas.It was good. It was Sam Vimes. We're about a hundred pages into Feet of Clay so we've got a couple of thousand pages to go before we get to this one out loud.

I'm also reading NurtureShock, which Reg got us in eBook format, on our new eReader (which I should really spend some time playing with so I understand the format better). It's okay.

Also, Happy Anniversary to us! We're supposed to be going out for dinner alone tonight. My mother suggests that we should perhaps take Nat along, in case the conversation lags. The conversation never ever lags if Nat is talking.

He used 'burrow' and 'igloo' correctly in conversation a couple of days ago. I'm glad I'm prevented from overwhelming pride in his linguistic abilities by knowing that his character has a few tiny, tiny flows. Like immediately doing the opposite of any requested action, pushing his brother over, and being unable to stop singing very loudly if he's awake.

2011-12-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas was good, although sleepless and with the chaos that Nat engenders even on the quietest days. I'll put up some pictures later. Yesterday was spent in full-on recovery mode, especially as Thomas woke up throwing up. Today is Geoff's last day off before he he must return to work for two whole days, during which the children and I will hang around, go to the local shops, and possibly make it to the Science Centre.

We didn't make it to Mass. Geoff was sick on Christmas morning, and didn't get out of bed until after ten. The kids were alternating waking up all night, and I got them packed up and down to the bus stop, and then realised that I was too tired to finish sentences, and there wasn't any way I could manage both kids by myself all through Mass, and then on the bus back home, make lunch, and do all the cooking. I'm hoping we'll make it for New Year's. We've run many bad weekends this Advent, with lots of illness.

Today we're sort of staggering around trying to clean things and do some organizing, and building tents from Nat and Thomas's new fort-building kit (thank you, Tristan). ILAC phoned, and asked if we could host from January 5th through February 4th. We said no. I'm already enormously pregnant, and February is a gray zone of possible medical emergenices. We'll see if they turn up any nice two-week hosting in the next few days

On that note, I've been having uncomfortable contractions all the time for the last few days, and am getting a little nervous. I would like to have the girls a little early, but preferably not for another month or so, so I'm trying to take it easy. It is difficult. So, it sounds like, is Nat, so I should probably go and see why he'd trying to tie his father up with string while chanting the Doctor Who theme song.

2011-12-24T10:23:00.000-08:00

It's felt like a slow and lazy day, but actually I've got a fair amount done so far: I've stripped the beds and started to wash all the bedding, cleaned the fridge out, done some planning for tomorrow's dinner, made two batches of bread dough, made lunch (which traumatized Thomas- Mommy wouldn't pick him up while frying things. It was awful!!!) folded some of the eternal mountain of laundry, and got Nat excited about wrapping presents for Grandma and Grandpa.

We're having Ye Olde Traditionale Butter Chicken for dinner, because it's easy and I've got chicken. Nat and Geoff are watching Wall-E again behind me, and Geoff promises to brave the grocery store to pick up milk and sausages and a few other essentials.

Like this:

No, I really don't want one for Christmas. Interesting idea, though. Ick.

2011-12-23T12:20:00.000-08:00

I should really be either cleaning out the fridge or sleeping...

I started that way, and then went and took an hour-long nap. Clearly the sensible thing to do. Still have to clean out the fridge.

We went to the local drop-in centre this morning and contributed a batch of cinnamon buns to the general Christmas party. I got embarrassing amounts of praise, and a few offers to buy baked goods if I make them. I'll follow up on that. I like it when people pay me to do something I do obsessively.

Drat. I just realised I came back from the overcrowded and annoying grocery store without Caesar dressing to make the chicken and bacon Casear salad tonight. Oh, well. Oil and lemon and parmesan and we'll be fine.

2011-12-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

I had to explain to Nat yesterday why we can't grab light. I don't think I did a good job. Any volunteers?

Because

2011-12-22T05:00:00.001-08:00

So, we may have four children under five then but I AM GOING TO SEE THIS IN THE THEATRE.

Thank you.

2011-12-21T17:19:00.000-08:00

Look! A post not complaining about my children!

I'm about 150 pages into Discovering God, which Geoff just read and discussed with me. The author is a professor at Baylor. I suspect he's Baptist, because at least some of the faculty is, but I haven't checked. It's about societal religious development through time. Right now I'm in the beginnings of the persecution of Christians, which the author says largely weren't aimed at Christians. He says that it was an attempt (or a few attempts, really) to revive the crumbling Empire by reasserting pubic belief in the old gods, and the Christians just happened to be loudly anti-sacrificing-to-idols, or, I guess, loudly anti-syncretistic. One of the persecutions focused on the evils of abandoning the old in favour of the new, so while Jews were targeted in a few different persecutions, they got off that one because they were following their ancient religion, which was dandy.

Anyway, he says that the ancient civilizations all had state religions from which the lower classes were pretty much banned, lukewarm observance, and no religious competition, and Rome had an open market of faiths, which produced more fervour. The fervour actually made a lot of the rulers of Rome (Senate, Emperor, whatever) very nervous, because prior to the introduction of a bunch of faiths (Bacchanalism, the worship of Cybele and Isis, Christianity), religion in Rome tended to follow the dispassionate state religion model. Make your sacrifice, write down somewhere that you did it, the gods are pleased. The followers of the new faiths were committed (anyone that practises self-castration in religious frenzy is beyond committed) and met together frequently, which formed tight groups. The rulers were understandably nervous about tight-knit groups- C. S. Lewis's remarks about people in power fearing groups of close friends come to mind.

The other things which I haven't really gotten to yet but Geoff and I talked about a lot was the progression from some kind of ultimate maker, through polytheism (with morally degenerat gods) and back (or forward) to a god whose character was indistinguishable from the Good. Most of the pantheons were bloody awful people, if you think about it. The gods could be feared and propiated, but not respected or loved. They weren't lovable, and you really only got anywhere by flattering their vanity.

Anyway, it's interesting, and I'm glad to have gotten out of Sumer, which sounds awful.

2011-12-21T06:12:00.000-08:00

I will definitely not kill the children, even though Thomas woke at 5:55, when Geoff left the bathroom, and wanted to play let's-watch-Muppets, let's-go-upstairs-and-come-down, let's-have-a-screaming-tantrum-when-Mummy-refuses-to-go-up-and-down-stairs-more-than-four-times.

He was exhausted and threw a huge tantrum, and has only cheered up now because Nat's up and it's more normal awake-time. I think he needs more sleep, but he's easy to wake, unfortunately, at just the time Geoff gets up for work.

Nat was royally horrible yesterday, and I'm trying to be loving a patient because we have tons of baking and cleaning to do today.

I have an actual thoughtful post about what I've been reading, but i can't do it in my current child-surrounded irritated state

2011-12-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Thomas has been asleep for hours. I'e made lasagna, with homemade noodles, from scratch, filled the dishwasher, done a minor toy purge, and had a nap. I've also read some more of Discovering God, although I think I'll give it a rest for a few days and read some fiction instead. I'm getting tired of Sumerian and Roman religions.

Anyway, I feel productive.

Does anyone else get sort of paranoid and morbid near the end of pregnancy? I keep imagining terrible scenarios and trying to figure out how everyone will manage if I die or something happens to the babies, and looking at Victorian posed infant death photographs, and things. It's awful. I've never been emotional during pregnancy, and I'm pretty sure this is hormonal emotionalism. It's very strange.

The photo of the kids is from the summer, as you can tell from Thomas's tie-dyed outfit. They look so cute!

Dammit, pregnancy emotionalism again.

Oh, yes- last year we got some kind of glurgey stuffed animal Christmas tree ornaments, and I tried to put them up this year. I was unsucessful because Thomas keeps gathering them up in armfuls and trotting around with them. He thinks I'm a bad mother, to hang my babies up in a tree! Imagine!

2011-12-19T03:56:00.000-08:00

Thomas is cute. Also, working camera! Thank you, Angus and Molly.

Thomas wasn't sick during the night, but Nat had nightmares or low-grade night terrors four or five times, and then the alarm went off at five. My parents are taking Nat today to give him some running around time, while Thomas and I mostly stay home, recuperate, and plan Christmas dinner.This is the second or third night that Nat's woken me up over and over, and I'm trying to decide whether I should ignore him at night for a while. Probably. He doesn't seem very responsive when I go in, and doesn't hug me or otherwise look relieved I'm there.

Yawn. Early and sleepy.

2011-12-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

So, Thomas has what Nat had, and the two of them alternated waking during the night. I've spent most of the day holding Thomas while he fusses or sleeps, and Nat has been extraordinarily patient and quiet, partly because of an endless Muppets marathon.

I saw a Muppets performance I remember from when I was about six, featuring a song about believing in magic and controlling the universe, with some extremely creepy Muppets.

We found out the Camilo hates Muppets. The kids love them, so he's stuck until Friday.

I feel kind of sick and fried, and our major accomplishment today has been loading and unloading the dishwasher and running some laundry.

Nat and Thomas got Wall-E for Christmas from Geoff's Mum, and Geoff's watching it with them, behind me. I'm trying to decide between takeout and actually cooking for dinner. I'm not hungry, so not having to cook is enticing.

I had a nightmare last night about being in hospital with blood pressure problems, no one to take care of the kids, and unable to find a nurse who would unhook me enough to let me use the phone. On the not-nightmare and very good side, and related, in my useless brain, is finding out that Geoff's Mum has three weeks vacation that she will use to help us out if I do have to go on bedrest and/or to come and help look after everyone. That's wonderful.

2011-12-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

Argh. Thomas woke an hour early this morning, refused to go down for nap and screamed for forty minutes, and then woke up after forty-five minutes screaming his head off. He doesn't seem sick. I'm leaving him for fifteen or so more minutes to see if he can get any more sleep, because otherwise I'm going to kill him sometime around dinner. I know he's going to be a Horrible Little Person if he doesn't get more sleep, and so am I.

2011-12-16T03:57:00.000-08:00

Nat seems to be better, although he woke up, feverish, four or five times during the night. Thomas decided to get up at six, and because he either wanted to tromp up and down the stairs or watch The Muppets, we're continuing the Muppet marathon we started yesterday. Right now he's watching Alice Cooper. It's probably warping him, or something

Because we got up at 5:50 precisely, I've gotten the laundry on and the dishwasher unloaded. I would have preferred the sleep, honestly.

I hope Nat is better today.

2011-12-15T16:36:00.001-08:00

Nat's doing a bit better. He's got a fever but his blood sugar's up a little, and I'm hoping he'll have an okay night.

Because Stuart introduced me to this, and because I hear it in my head whenever I hear "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!", and I'll take Lovecraft over glurgy holiday music, here's....

2011-12-15T13:24:00.001-08:00

Argh. Nat has fallen asleep and tests at 3.8. I think he's getting sick.

Prayers that we won't have to go to the hospital would be appreciated.

2011-12-15T12:16:00.000-08:00

I think Nat just had a bad blood sugar low at preschool and started to pass out- they were unable to get the monitor to work (I think today was the teacher I didn't train), but from his behaviour he was low and on the verge of fainting. They got a spoonful of sugar and then some juice into him, so he should be fine. When I talked to his teacher a minute ago he was arguing with her about whether she should keep singing Rudolph. They didn't have to call an ambulance. I haven't trained them to use glucagon as it's picky and needs syringes instead of pens.

God, this is scary, having him away from me.

Random thoughts

2011-12-15T11:52:00.000-08:00

Geoff's just finished Discovering God, by Rodney Stark, and I should be reading it, too, and I will once my brain wakes up from its nap. He said that it was very good.

We're just finishing up reading Men at Arms aloud. We'll probably start Feet of Clay tomorrow.

It's wet, rainy, and warm, and I want my winter back, thank you.

I dislike hormone-driven spells of intense shaking. I wake up feeling on the verge of hypothermia, although I can simultaneously acknowledge that I am the correct temperature. I shake uncontrollably for several minutes, under piles of blankets. I've always tolerated cold pretty well and it's strange to feel like I'm dying in 20C conditions. I spent most of last night in a fleece bathrobe under a couple of quilts, too hot but knowing that if I took the bathrobe off I'd start shaking again. Bleh.

We're having pancakes and scrambled eggs tonight, and carrots soup with fresh bread tomorrow, because I intend to bake cinnamon buns with Nat and need something that can be prepared well ahead of time. It stops me from screaming at him so much when I haven't made dinner and he smears brown sugar and butter all over the kitchen.

I just cleaned the fridge out, and should unload the dishwasher and prepare for the frying marathon that is making enough pancakes for five people for dinner. Only done on days when Geoff is home in the evening, definitely.

2011-12-14T18:17:00.001-08:00

"If we could hear trees scream, would we still cut them down? I suppose we would, if they screamed all the time for no good reason."

2011-12-14T08:22:00.001-08:00

Up side to playdough- keeps the kids busy for hour and hours.

Down side to playdough- multicoloured mess all over everything.

2011-12-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

We got back from Niagara yesterday. We had a very nice time, although Thomas gave up sleeping for a few days, and Nat had a perfectly wonderful time with his grandparents, and got to go to Niagara Falls. They didn't throw him over, so he must have been behaving.

Having all the kids together was chaos. Next Christmas will be even more exciting!

Nat's at my parents for the afternoon, so I'm going to try and catch up on some of the three days' worth of sleep I missed, and then tidy and clean out the fridge. I might be going out for dinner (this is part of my two month celebration of Being Able to Go Out For Dinner, before the babies are born), and I've lived in an Eritrean/Ethiopian neighbourhood for two years without visiting any of the Ethiopian restaurants.

2011-12-08T18:44:00.001-08:00

Nat's not here.

IT'S SO QUIET! SOMEONE MAKE SOME NOISE!

Okay, not really. But the quiet is a little unnerving.

2011-12-08T04:37:00.001-08:00

Okay, Nat goes to NotL this afternoon. Before Saturday morning, I have to:

-Wrap the presents
-Make gingerbread and panforte and chocolate cinnamon buns
-Pack for the rest of us
-Clean the kitchen and fridge
-Mop the floor

Probably some other stuff, too. Ideas?

2011-12-07T09:46:00.001-08:00

Nat just came over with an awesome claw he built out of duplo, declaring, "The claw is our master. Claw decides who will go and who will stay."

It's a Toy Story quote, but it's still awfully funny coming out of him.

I remember Mrs. Darwin

2011-12-06T10:12:00.001-08:00

I remember when Mrs. Darwin first got her gills slits removed. It had been a long and difficult process, starting with the partial lung transplant and gradually working up, in longer and longer intervals, to life outside the tank. The gill-slit removal was a powerful symbol of her decision to live as a drylander instead of within the constraints of nature.

2011-12-06T04:37:00.001-08:00

Nat, picking up a hook that Geoff dropped: "Someday a little animals is going to pick this up and carry it away and make it into a little flying boat to live in."

2011-12-05T09:46:00.001-08:00

I forgot to write about the shower- it was very nice. No games, good food, a lot of chatting, very practical gifts. I had a great time. Thank you, Cynth.

We have hot pink baby pants. Thanks, Mum.

Yesterday Hugh came over for dinner and brought cotton candy ice cream, which is an interesting shade of virulent pink with a blue stripe. He says that the more artificial and processed a food is, the more he loves it. He once lived on nothing but Easy Mac for a week, and then became very ill.

I'm glad his wife can cook. He hasn't died of scurvy because of her, and because- is there Vitamin C in wine?- if there is, then he's good.

2011-12-05T02:27:00.001-08:00

Right. Thomas mysteriously woke up at 4:40. I'm torn between trying to get lots of chores done and wallowing in morning sickness and self-pity. He does this tomorrow, I leave him in his crib until he falls back asleep.

2011-12-02T11:04:00.001-08:00

Okay, I went to Costco today, probably for the last Costco run of the year, and I want to idea-dump about what I'm going to make with the things I bought.

We have a large sack of meatballs and fusili. I'm going to make tomato and cheese pasta with meatballs, because Nat loves meatballs and we're trying to make more dinners that he likes. The fusili will also be macaroni and cheese. Tomorrow I'm doing thinly sliced beef and mushrooms with sour cream, probably on rice. Because we managed to finish the last huge package of lettuce I bought another one, and we'll have salad with potatoes and bacon. I also (sigh) got a big thing of frozen fries, and we have some chicken fingers somewhere in the freezer. I'll also make a bunch of cheese sauce and bechemel, and we'll have bread and cheese sauce and ham sometime this week. If I can find cheap veggies we'll have vegetarian enchiladas.

I got another big sack of potatoes, because the scalloped potatoes with cheese and bacon and artichoke hearts I made for dinner last night were so good that Geoff and I were having to restrain ourselves from eating them all. I also did a pureed peas side that that the kids didn't love but was quite nice with the potatoes. I'm also going to cook some potatoes for hash browns and then freeze them.

We have a large package of Italian sausages. Those don't have a purpose beyond that everyone here loves sausage.

The canned tomatoes will be in nearly everything.

I still need some produce, although we have lettuce, mushrooms, frozen peas and broccoli, and frozen corn.

Other ideas: black beans and rice, minestrone with pesto and sausage (to make a sort of stew), pasta with pesto, green beans and spinach.

Nat:, right now "Is the food in me camofluaging into pee and poop? Is it going to my intestines?"

On bumper stickers

2011-12-02T10:31:00.001-08:00

"My other pro-tolerance bumper sticker is also condescending."

2011-12-01T06:00:00.001-08:00

Doing better with Nat, and he starts nursery school today.

Vegetarian meals to freeze? I need to reorganize the freezer a bit.

Camilo is still theoretically sleeping, although Nat is alternately playing "I'm a rocket" and "I'm a train!" by pushing designated rocket-starting buttons on himself and running fast in circles. Thomas was chasing him but has stopped to kiss me passionately all over my arms. No more romance movies for him.

2011-11-29T05:17:00.001-08:00

We're having some trouble with Nat. For the last three or four days, he's been like having a Jack Russell on uppers, and it's starting to wear on me. It's like he's full of this explosive, undirected energy, and he needs to- lash out? Throw himself on things or people? Writhe around uncontrollably?- It's a bit like a blood sugar high, but his blood sugars have been better.

His listening, which is never great, is worse. It's like there's this layer of noise between him and the rest of the world, and the only way to get through and make him hear is shouting or by grabbing him and holding him down.

I'm kind of at a loss. I don't know how much is misbehaviour and how much is inability to focus, so I don't know when to dole out consequences and when to play and redirect. He's more unpredictable, and that makes me edgy, because he's more likely to destroy things, and hurt himself or Thomas.

2011-11-26T05:31:00.001-08:00

Nat has a scrape on his nose. He got it while trying to walk on Geoff's head. He tripped and fell and bumped his nose.

I'm not very sympathetic, really.

2011-11-24T13:44:00.001-08:00

Argh paperwork immunization records small children.

Nat's blood sugars are better, though. That's a relief.

2011-11-21T16:18:00.001-08:00

Geoff is upstairs with the two kids. wearing them out. Nat's blood sugar has been really high today- I think he'd wet himself ten times- and he's been psycho. We've been having so many highs/crashes lately that I'm afraid to try compensating.

We signed Nat up for nursery school twice a week, starting next week. I need to write out a package for them dealing with blood sugar. Right now I'm not sure how to do it. I don't know how to stabilize him, without crashes. My poor little (winces at thunderous overhead noise) crazy lead-footed pygmy Tasmanian devil.

2011-11-20T17:12:00.001-08:00

Geoff says we can't get a pygmy owl. He's mean.

2011-11-19T12:45:00.001-08:00

It is very hard to explain Latin declensions and cases in English to someone who mostly speaks Spanish.

I'm not sure I succeeded.

In other news, I may have as little as ten weeks before the twins arrive (if they show up early). This has caused a new round of food planning and revving furiously in neutral. First we have to surmount Advent and Christmas. I still need to make and buy gifts for all the people who will be at the first round of Christmas, in Niagara. Nat will enjoy shopping for his cousins- I hope I can do it next week.

Preserved for posterity: fruitcake

2011-11-18T10:07:00.001-08:00

Mum's fruitcake recipe:

8 cups mixed fruit and nuts (this time I used dried cherries, citron peel, hazelnuts and pecans, candied ginger, and raisins. The original recipe has currants and glace cherries)
4 cups sherry, or enough to make it damp

Soak the fruit and nuts at least overnight

Mix together

3/4 c. butter
1 1/2c. sugar
4 eggs
1/4 c. molasses
1 tsp vanilla
2 2/3 c. flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
pinch cloves

Stir the fruit and booze into the batter. Use a really big bowl. Heat oven to 275F and line two baking pans with parchment or brown paper. Fill the pans and bake for between 2-3 hours, or until it's set in the middle.

Let it cool and age it, if you can bear to. Wrap it well and spritz with sherry every few days. Keeps for years. It's really really good with sharp, old, crumbly cheddar. I like a very dark, spicy, and sharp fruitcake- not the over-sweet and hard commercial ones. I have converted a number of fruitcake haters.

2011-11-17T06:14:00.001-08:00

Okay, ready to start planning Christmas gifts. Homemade things I'm thinking of giving include bread, fruit liquor, coffee cake, hot chocolate mix, and nut brittle.

Anyone else have inspiration?

2011-11-16T12:08:00.001-08:00

I get my last round of antibiotics in an hour or two, and get the hardwire removed. I get to sleep at home tonight. I'm looking forward to it.

Since I was in hospital, I've read Simply Christian, which was okay, and re-read Shadowheart, and am most of the way through the latest Temeraire novel. I don't remember the title. It's about Australia. I keep reading bits of Housekeeping, because it's the Marilynne Robinson novel I don't know by heart. The writing is... it drags you in and puts you in a dark, quiet room, full of the sound of rushing water and the awareness of quiet.

Reg is here right now, Cynthia should be coming in a little while (I hope so, she can drop me at the hospital. Five blocks isn't far unless you do it there and back three times a day and weighing an extra thirty-five pounds), and Hugh said he'd drop by this evening. We'll celebrate my freedom.

2011-11-13T11:48:00.001-08:00

Home again for a little while. Neither Geoff nor I are (am?) sleeping well, partly because we're apart, and for me, partly because I'm having middle-of-the-night arguments with nurses about whether they need to check out how the babies are doing via ultrasound, because if I'm in Maternity clearly the babies need careful mon itoring.

Only if they're willing to come home with me and keep doing it for the rest of the pregnancy. Otherwise it's unnecessary. Yes, I know, it's a liability issue, but argh I would like to not be woken up for silly hospital procedures.

Anyway, Geoff's going to the diabetes clinic with Nathaniel tomorrow, and I'm home making dinner. It's ratatouille without eggplant and with purple potatoes, which both Geoff and Camilo think are deeply suspicious.

They're lucky I didn't buy the romenesco cauliflower.

That would have have freaked them right out.

2011-11-12T16:42:00.001-08:00

Home for a couple of hours. So far it's breaking down to me being home 11-4, 6:30-9:30ish. Geoff hasn't gone nuts yest, and is coping well with the kids, but there's lots of housework not getting done because we're not both home, and I'm the houseowrk manager.

I'm really really tired. Not sure if it's the medication or being merrily awoken at 1 for an hour to do probably-unnecessary testing, or being in hospital with different sounds. I selfishly hope my room only has me in it when I get back (it's a two-person one) and that I sleep better tonight. The nurses seem to be kind of adjusting to the idea that I'm not there a lot of the time.

Better go help Geoff get the kids in bed, and then do some chores, very slowly.

2011-11-11T14:34:00.001-08:00

So, I'm in hospital intermittently until, um, Tuesday? I'm sleeping there, but I'll be home on and off during the day. I'm in Maternity, which is rather nicer than a ward on the main floors.

I'm sure Geoff would like any help or assistance anyone feels like giving. He gets to wake up with Thomas at six every morning.

2011-11-11T09:35:00.001-08:00

Oh, shit. Nat's appointment on Monday. Well, we'll see if I have to be fully admitted- maybe I can leave for a few hours?

2011-11-11T09:29:00.001-08:00

If I have to go into hospital, what are Geoff and the kids and Camilo going to eat?

I got bagels today, there's cheese and eggs and cucumber in the fridge. Geoff could buy sliced ham and make lettuce salad. Boxed macaroni and cheese. Toast. Fruit.Scrambled eggs. Sapporo Ichiban, we've got some in the basement.

Cripes.

2011-11-11T09:08:00.001-08:00

Rrrarafgdfdghfghfggh!

Okay, homecare says that they'll come today. I am running out of faith. My OB, to whom I just talked, is completely appalled, and says that once a day isn't enough, every eight hours is necessary, and if this isn't treated properly we could lose the babies. He thinks I have a choice between full hospital admittance and going in every seven hours round the clock to have the drugs administered, if the homecare people don't get their act together and come as often as they need to.

Currently full hospital admittance looks like the only real solution, and will be incredibly difficult to arrange, with the kids needing care and Geoff needing to teach tonight and everything.

I want to go bang my head against the wall, or possibly drink heavily. This is insane.

2011-11-10T13:43:00.001-08:00

I know this is an absurd number of posts in a day, but it's my blog, and I don't have the kids with me right now, so i have leisure. I'm gradually coming down from my peak of irritation, although the smell of the medical tape and hardware in my hand is bothering me- it's connected with having Nat in hospital and with remembering the first few days after both the kids were born, which isn't bad, but is pretty emotional.

Mostly I'm remembering when Nat got flu in March, and had to be held down to have an IV put in, and me and Geoff spelling each other off holding him as he threw up all over us. Poor lamb.

I spent most of the morning reading Wintersmith, which is not one of my favourite Terry Pratchett books. I don't like the witches much, and I think the Tiffany Aching stories are heavy-handed in their moralism. I grabbed it mostly because I haven't re-read it in years, and knew I needed something light and with a plot.

The chairs in the maternity ward are much more comfortable. They have padded benches, so you can lie down. I missed them this morning. I also listened unwillingly to four hours of Food Network programming, which made me feel like my brain was dying. I like food, I like love cooking, I don't get 'daring adventure programmes' about making a hat out of chocolate.

2011-11-10T13:12:00.001-08:00

In happier and less self-obsessed news- congratulations to our friends Sylvia and Doug, who just got engaged!

2011-11-10T12:30:00.001-08:00

Just got back from spending six more hours at the hospital in order to have a half-hour procedure done. Will get over desire to kill hospital staff soon.

If I weren't pregnant I'd be drinking heavily.

Parents will bring fish and chips for dinner.

2011-11-09T16:07:00.000-08:00

No, the fracking nurse won't come because the damn medication has to be administered in hospital the first time, because of possible allergic reactions. So we'll spend the entire damn day waiting for it to be told in the evening that they won't come, and I have to go back to the hospital first thing in the morning.

AAAAAARRRRGHHHH.

RROARRGHGGHEGEFDGBDBGH

2011-11-09T11:32:00.001-08:00

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHGGH.

Okay. The nurse will come sometime between seven and nine tonight to connect me to a pump and a handbag-like device to which I will be attached for the next five days. A nurse will come daily to do things to the pump. I'm going to have to hold the damn thing in one hand for five days. I haven't seen the device yet, but I am not sure this is possible- I need both hands.

AARRGH.

2011-11-09T04:05:00.000-08:00

I spent from 2:30-8:00ish in the hospital yesterday, in the waiting room. I was supposed to get an IV of antibiotics, and arrange homecare so that a nurse can continue to give them to me at (I think?) three-hour intervals.

By the time I saw a nurse, it was too late to arrange homecare or have more than one IV of the necessary medication. So they sent me home and told me we'd do it in the morning. This is irritating.

I'm pretty sure that once you hit the waiting room they dismiss you from existence. The nurses were very surprised to find out how long I'd been there. By the time they called me, I'd spent the last hour pondering how long was reasonable to wait before giving up.

On the bright side I had a nice and very long chat with another couple who were waiting for induction. I hope she's had her baby by now.

I miss the midwives.

This looks good

2011-11-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

Of course, the volume of movies we see is so extremely small that our chances are minimal (still haven't seen the new Jane Eyre or Young Victoria), (or The Eagle, which I've just remembered that I really do want to see- maybe next weekend or something? I have a feeling our next movie viewing will be The Hobbit), but I'd still like to make the effort to at least remember.

2011-11-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

Praise me, for I cleaned out both chest freezers last night.

Nat and I are off to Peter's birthday party as soon as Geoff gets back from the dojo. I've started cooking things to freeze- I froze some spaghetti sauce yesterday. I should start making muffins. I know the babies aren't due until February, but December is always really busy, and I don't know how mobile I'll be by January. Best to start now. Besides, it's a useful way to fidget.

2011-11-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that we had a really nice evening? We did.

Also, I just saw this photo of a Worth gown, circa 1905, and I WANT it.

I also want the kind of life that would allow me to wear things this impractical.

Look at the ruffles on the skirt!

2011-11-04T06:06:00.000-07:00

Threw up. Oh, well. Also, sciatica and exhaustion, and every time I leave the room Nat messes up the computer. We're either going to have to password lock it or turn it off when he's up and an adult isn't right there. So angry at him, because he absolutely knows it's wrong, scurries sideways and hides when he's been doing it and I come back. Argh.

Going to the park and the I hope to sleep for a while this afternoon.

2011-11-04T04:20:00.001-07:00

Really nice evening. Kitchen wrcked. Thomas got up at five.

Must make tea and not throw it up.